Remembering Chris

Where are we headed?

Today the stock market continued its downward slide started on Friday and the Down Jones plummeted by 634 points in Monday's session. As I watched my retirement savings lose value and my time horizon to actually retire extend further out, I wondered, "when will our politicians 'get it'!" We were all subjected to the partisan brawl just a week ago when we were told if Congress did not reach an agreement on raising the debt ceiling by August 2nd, that we would default on our debt,lose our AAA rating from the credit agencies and cause a world-wide double dip recession. Well, we increased the debt ceiling and on Friday one of the credit rating agencies--Standard & Poor's--still reduced our credit rating from AAA to AA+. So much for saving our credit rating.

Now the politicians are lining up to blame each other and denigrating Standard & Poor's actions in reducing our credit rating for the first time in history. Instead of bucking up and recognizing that all parties are at fault, the rhetoric of blame is taking center stage when these politicians instead should be racing back to Washington to buckle down and do something! And, the rhetoric is abrasive, violent-toned and totally self-serving as politicians try and deflect blame in hopes of not losing their seats in Congress during the next election.

I don't know about you, but (no offense to President Obama) I am so weary hearing President Obama speak--he offers nothing but catch-phrases that are designed to make us "feel better" when we don't need a psychologist, we need a statesman. Lest you think I am picking on the President, let me assure you the same goes for both parties--we need statesmen/women to step up and work together, not bicker constantly and create such a political divide that nothing is done about the most important economic issue of our lives. It's like watching children in a sandbox who cannot get along and are constantly grabbing for the shovel and pail to fill up for themselves. Find a way to work together!

We also need to reduce our debt and make the painful cuts that we all know have to come no matter what the parties say. None of us are allowed to live beyond our means and the same is true for government. We have been "passing the buck" to deal with this issue way too long and now we are paying the price through credit rating reduction, an extremely volatile stock market, job depression and generally a fearfullness that is permeating our economy. The one thing that hurts economies is uncertainty and we have that infecting our economic system like it has never been before.

I believe that citizens can "right the ship" if we demand our representatives to quit talking and pointing the finger at one another, get back to Washington right now and start working on the debt reduction. Have the Super Committee that was selected as part of the comprise legislation last week begin work today and move up the date for their report--don't wait until November. And, most of all bring about meaningful budget cuts, create a balanced budget and reform in the tax system.

It is also time for citizens to wake up the fact that Mother Government will not take care of you cradle to grave. We have to take control of our personal finances and stop the self-gratification train that says "when I want it, I have to get it now, even if I have to borrow to get it." That's nonsense and it is that kind of thinking that now has families in a financial bind. Many believe we should "spend out way out of this economic tsunami." I personally think that just exacerbates the problem by getting people into more debt. We have a debt problem in this country and spending our way out of the problem is bad financial planning. We can't do that personally and we can't do that as a nation either.

Are you fed up as well? Then write your representative, senator, and the White House and let them know what you want to see happen. You may not agree with me and that is just fine, but please don't sit back and do the "wait and see" dance. We've been doing that for generations and look where it has gotten us! Be an engaged citizen!

Missing Him

This has been one of those weeks when I have really been missing Chris. Earlier posts talk about the waves of grief that come over you at times and certainly the intensity and frequency of such waves are not as forceful as they were in the past, but I am still surprised and blindsided from time to time by the ferocity of some of the waves and the timing of them as well. There seems to be no reason for this one and so, I just have to chalk it up to the fact that I am not going to always know why and certainly cannot predicit when, but will just have to get through them and wait for the wave to break.

It is appropriate to use the wave analogy since I am just finishing the book, "Wave" by Susan Casey. It is an amazing book about searching for the "freak, rogue and massive waves" (over 100 ft!) that extreme surfers are dreaming about and shipping companies are dreading. The book switches back and forth about the elite surfers who search and find and risk their lives to find and then talks about the science of changing climate conditions and the greater frequency of these monster waves today that have and continue to cause havoc in the seas which not only toss surfers, but huge tankers and cargo ships taking lives and cargo down to the ocean floors. Fabulous book and one worth reading even if you have no affinity for the wave riders of the world.

When it comes to waves of grief, there is no avoiding the impact and there is no way to avoid the depth and breadth of the emotion. It just hits and the tears flow. I have said all along that you never get over the loss of a loved one, you just learn to live with it and over 3 years later that statement is still true.

My Godson, Cambry, has been in town for the Pepperdine Christian Scholars conference (presenting a paper) and talking one night after the day's activities were done, he mentioned to me that he really loves using Chris' theology library (I gave him and his brother, Justin, the books from Chris' theology library) during his masters and doctoral program in religion and theology. When I asked why he proceded to tell me that he loved reading the fly pages where I had written notes to Chris when I gave him the book. I had actually forgotten that I had written in the books that I gave to him as gifts on birthdays, anniversaries, etc., but Cambry reminded me that I had and he was touched by the love that he found when using the books. It reminded me how much Chris loved to use those books as he studied the Bible, prepared for lessons, preaching, etc. and I think that may have been one of the catalysts for this "wave."

Then, Cambry's mother, Cyndi, came to pick him up to take him back to Riverside for a short weekend visit at home before he returns to Chicago where he is working on his doctorate, and at dinner she told Cambry that one of his best traits as a man was not from his genetic heritage but from his "Uncle Chris." The way he treated his wife, his gentleness and his always being aware of and sensitive to those around him came from his Godfather, Uncle Chris, and once again, the tears flowed. Not having our own children, it was a wonderful gift to me to know that legacy isn't just for blood descendants but for anyone whose life has been influenced by the love of another and Cambry is reflecting that through his life just as Chris did during his. What a great gift and blessing!

So, I am missing my sweet Chris and at the same time seeing him in the lives of others he touched so beautifully while he was here with us. It is wonderful reminder of the way God continues to use us even when we have journeyed to the other side and that we truly do live on--not just in heaven but here on earth in the lives of others. The Wave does crash, the tears do flow, but through the pain of separation there is a sweet aftermath in the remembrance of a life well-lived by a man well-loved.