Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of Chris's death. Those who have lost loved ones know that such a timespan can feel long or short at any given time because time is so unpredictable when coping with grief. I miss Chris and know that I always will because he is such a part of my life--my faith journey, my maturation process (yes,he really did help me grow up in so many ways!), my growth as a woman, wife, friend, colleague, sister, daughter, and niece. I will miss Chris and honor him always because he taught me about unconditional love and what it looks like. I have told many people that Chris taught me how to live and how to die and that is something that few individuals have experienced. He died with dignity, grace and his faith in tact and ready to meet his God with open arms and without fear. He left a legacy for countless students who attended Pepperdine who loved how he loved and supported them in their educational efforts but also in their personal growth. Chris will always be part of who I am because he in great part made me who I am today. What a fortunate woman am I!
I have been dating a lovely man recently who understands that Chris is not a rival but someone who has had a great impact on my life. Dan appreciates that part of my life and was keen to be with me yesterday on this anniversary. He asked me, "What do you want to do on the anniversary? I will do whatever you would like." I wanted to look at picture albums and talk about Chris and so that is what we did for hours yesterday--looked at pictures and told "Chris" stories. We laughed and cried and I had a chance to give someone who did not know Chris a glimpse of the incredible man that he was. Dan now knows why I am who I am today because of the loved that I experienced with Chris. And, as a result, he respects that relationship and has indicated that he will always honor Chris for what he gave to me.
I received wonderful cards and calls from friends and family who also were remembering Chris yeseterday. All of those calls were so special and welcome. Chris lives on in our hearts and minds and I suspect he is up there in Heaven playing his best golf and drinking his favorite wine (Silver Oak) and smiling that mischievious grin that brought a smile to all who knew him. He is happy, whole, surrounded by joy and waiting patiently for all of us to follow. It will be but a moment in time for him and I don't know what the timeframe is for those of us who long to see him again, but I do know this--I will forwever remember a remarkable man who lived a life worth remembering. I suspect all of you will do so as well.
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