Remembering Chris

Four Years

Yesterday was the 4th anniversary of Chris's death. Those who have lost loved ones know that such a timespan can feel long or short at any given time because time is so unpredictable when coping with grief. I miss Chris and know that I always will because he is such a part of my life--my faith journey, my maturation process (yes,he really did help me grow up in so many ways!), my growth as a woman, wife, friend, colleague, sister, daughter, and niece. I will miss Chris and honor him always because he taught me about unconditional love and what it looks like. I have told many people that Chris taught me how to live and how to die and that is something that few individuals have experienced. He died with dignity, grace and his faith in tact and ready to meet his God with open arms and without fear. He left a legacy for countless students who attended Pepperdine who loved how he loved and supported them in their educational efforts but also in their personal growth. Chris will always be part of who I am because he in great part made me who I am today. What a fortunate woman am I!

I have been dating a lovely man recently who understands that Chris is not a rival but someone who has had a great impact on my life. Dan appreciates that part of my life and was keen to be with me yesterday on this anniversary. He asked me, "What do you want to do on the anniversary? I will do whatever you would like." I wanted to look at picture albums and talk about Chris and so that is what we did for hours yesterday--looked at pictures and told "Chris" stories. We laughed and cried and I had a chance to give someone who did not know Chris a glimpse of the incredible man that he was. Dan now knows why I am who I am today because of the loved that I experienced with Chris. And, as a result, he respects that relationship and has indicated that he will always honor Chris for what he gave to me.

I received wonderful cards and calls from friends and family who also were remembering Chris yeseterday. All of those calls were so special and welcome. Chris lives on in our hearts and minds and I suspect he is up there in Heaven playing his best golf and drinking his favorite wine (Silver Oak) and smiling that mischievious grin that brought a smile to all who knew him. He is happy, whole, surrounded by joy and waiting patiently for all of us to follow. It will be but a moment in time for him and I don't know what the timeframe is for those of us who long to see him again, but I do know this--I will forwever remember a remarkable man who lived a life worth remembering. I suspect all of you will do so as well.

Where are we headed?

Today the stock market continued its downward slide started on Friday and the Down Jones plummeted by 634 points in Monday's session. As I watched my retirement savings lose value and my time horizon to actually retire extend further out, I wondered, "when will our politicians 'get it'!" We were all subjected to the partisan brawl just a week ago when we were told if Congress did not reach an agreement on raising the debt ceiling by August 2nd, that we would default on our debt,lose our AAA rating from the credit agencies and cause a world-wide double dip recession. Well, we increased the debt ceiling and on Friday one of the credit rating agencies--Standard & Poor's--still reduced our credit rating from AAA to AA+. So much for saving our credit rating.

Now the politicians are lining up to blame each other and denigrating Standard & Poor's actions in reducing our credit rating for the first time in history. Instead of bucking up and recognizing that all parties are at fault, the rhetoric of blame is taking center stage when these politicians instead should be racing back to Washington to buckle down and do something! And, the rhetoric is abrasive, violent-toned and totally self-serving as politicians try and deflect blame in hopes of not losing their seats in Congress during the next election.

I don't know about you, but (no offense to President Obama) I am so weary hearing President Obama speak--he offers nothing but catch-phrases that are designed to make us "feel better" when we don't need a psychologist, we need a statesman. Lest you think I am picking on the President, let me assure you the same goes for both parties--we need statesmen/women to step up and work together, not bicker constantly and create such a political divide that nothing is done about the most important economic issue of our lives. It's like watching children in a sandbox who cannot get along and are constantly grabbing for the shovel and pail to fill up for themselves. Find a way to work together!

We also need to reduce our debt and make the painful cuts that we all know have to come no matter what the parties say. None of us are allowed to live beyond our means and the same is true for government. We have been "passing the buck" to deal with this issue way too long and now we are paying the price through credit rating reduction, an extremely volatile stock market, job depression and generally a fearfullness that is permeating our economy. The one thing that hurts economies is uncertainty and we have that infecting our economic system like it has never been before.

I believe that citizens can "right the ship" if we demand our representatives to quit talking and pointing the finger at one another, get back to Washington right now and start working on the debt reduction. Have the Super Committee that was selected as part of the comprise legislation last week begin work today and move up the date for their report--don't wait until November. And, most of all bring about meaningful budget cuts, create a balanced budget and reform in the tax system.

It is also time for citizens to wake up the fact that Mother Government will not take care of you cradle to grave. We have to take control of our personal finances and stop the self-gratification train that says "when I want it, I have to get it now, even if I have to borrow to get it." That's nonsense and it is that kind of thinking that now has families in a financial bind. Many believe we should "spend out way out of this economic tsunami." I personally think that just exacerbates the problem by getting people into more debt. We have a debt problem in this country and spending our way out of the problem is bad financial planning. We can't do that personally and we can't do that as a nation either.

Are you fed up as well? Then write your representative, senator, and the White House and let them know what you want to see happen. You may not agree with me and that is just fine, but please don't sit back and do the "wait and see" dance. We've been doing that for generations and look where it has gotten us! Be an engaged citizen!